The Tooth Fairy: An Oral History

IMG_0402(Author’s Note: I’ve heard that sometimes there are varying amounts of tooth fairy gifts, and that – hypothetically – sometimes the tooth fairy forgets to come the first night. In lieu of a national meeting to get on the same page, I feel like maybe we need to get our story straight. Just sayin’. On a totally unrelated note, two of our kids lost teeth this week.)

There is something really special happening tonight…

Tonight the tooth fairy is taking flight.

 

For a great occasion has happened, you see…

Children around the world have lost their teeth!

 

They wiggled, they twisted, and their tongues pushed about…

Till the tooth broke free (or maybe someone pulled it out).

 

As each tooth was lost, a new map was charted…

And as soon as bedtime hit, a special someone departed:

 

THE TOOTH FAIRY!!!

 

More mysterious than Santa or the Easter Bunny…

And with wings and a tutu, certainly more funny.

 

Even parents are confused as to some of the descriptions…

So since they can’t agree, I have a few prescriptions.

 

Right, mom? Right, dad? Shouldn’t we agree…

That ONE DOLLAR for each tooth is the universal fee?

 

Not a fiver or a tenspot, and certainly not twenty…

Not the average of $3.70; a dollar seems like plenty!

 

And while we’re at the details, I think it would be rude…

If I forgot to mention, she’s a female, not a dude!

 

And this one is important, as a factor that is prime…

Normal day of arrival is one OR TWO days in time.

 

Because some nights are busier than other nights, you see…

(But even for the biggest slacker, it should never take her three.)

 

The important thing to realize is we’re all in this together…

Because the tooth fairy flies no matter what the weather.

 

So, let your eyelids grow heavy and your yawns open wide…

As you dream of a fairy on a journey through the sky.

 

Over Kalamazoo and Boston, over Spokane and Boise…

Over every quiet farmhouse and in cities that are noisy.

 

This last thing is important, so don’t make a peep…(shhh…)

The tooth fairy only visits when you…

 

GO TO SLEEP!!!

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